We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
