I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
