My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
