no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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