I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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