I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
