Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize