Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
