I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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