Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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