He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
