Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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