dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize