Sry I called you an 8
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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