so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
