What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
