I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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