Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize