I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
