Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
