haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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