Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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