Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Found the puke drawer
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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