I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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