Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
