ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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