When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize