You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
