I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
