i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize