yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
