Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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