I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
