Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize