I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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