I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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