I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I touched a dick in church today
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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