:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
