Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?"Ā¯ and "Why tacos?"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
pray to the hookup gods
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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