you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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