Heybabeimwearingurpanties
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
