These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
