Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
