if i died would you start the facebook group?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
