someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
