I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
