sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
