omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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