Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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