Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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