Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize