i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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