So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
