I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She bit a glass in half.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize