Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
