you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
