last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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