no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize