I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
