Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize